10/21/1998

.plan

world domination. yawn. no really, ... hmm it's top secret. if I told you, I'd have to unlink you... good enough? hmm. frustrated with current business practices and society's deeply ingrained sexual discrimination. how do I fix? can I fix? I will fix. maybe not the entire world, but I'll have my niche. Any trespassers will be violated. you have been warned

a literature prof from UNT said Y is the most interesting letter. It forms it's own complete sentence. Why? This is the same prof that put up a girly calendar on the chalk board on the he first day of class. he said: "If this offends any of you, F#%Q Y++." His point was tolerance and stepping out of your self for once to see things as they are. I don't think he brought his calendar back, but it got his point across.

Why are males and females different? Why do we have different clothing? Why is it more acceptable for a female to wear male clothing than the other way? not that I've ever done that, but still, I wonder why it's like this. I don't want to change how we're different, but how we treat each other... at least in the work force.

My most important question is:
Why can't it be different? Why can't I set up an environment where jeans and t-shirt are the dress code? I saw a brief news clip the other day about how sexy office clothes are coming in style, and this lady was saying that women are feeling more proud of themselves and want to show off more. Well, that's all fine and dandy, but not in my little world. I want people who are hard working and able to think for themselves, not someone fishing for dates.

I will treat all equally. Gender, race, physical ability does not matter. Take this as a job offer. Email me if you're interested, and I'll keep you in my future plans. You may even note what style of work/profession you'd prefer. I have no clue what business it would be, the product or service it would sell. I'd like to get a general feel for what would best suit my peers.

?/?/1999

I believe I can read
I believe I can write
I believe in my friends

To touch is silence
And silence is golden
And friends worth more
But only in memories

"I choose what is good and what not."

- Forming the Reality for Everyone

thoughts along the lines of we form our own reality, not by mere "what we make of things" but by our soul/consciousness alone.

(from anonymous source) they try to apply too much thought to emotion, when it really can't be thought out.

3/11/2000

It is on a daily basis now, that I concentrate on my surroundings and ponder my existence. The teachings of last B term haunt me with thoughts of personality and cognitive types relating to team dynamics. Why do people interact with each other in these ways? How do they interact? What's the reason? Is it too much to ask for common sense in management? Is it too difficult for everyone to value their own work and want to give their highest quality effort for the sole reason that work is branded by their names? My current irritation is the Campus Computer Center (CCC) of WPI. Many of these people are good individuals just trying to hold up their ends of life. But a few people boggle my mind, and they happen to be in the most influential positions, thereby causing the whole organization to resemble a parade of children boasting of the speed of their servers and the span of their networks and hoarding all management of campus computational resources to themselves.

They're claim is experience, but I know now that experience alone does not guarantee someone is capable of specific abstract tasks such as running a campus network. How about ingenuity? How about vision beyond that of increasing staff and equipment for bragging purposes? These are vague claims to make of anyone, but have I seen any better from them? It is one thing to be able to drive a car or run through a music scale but a whole other game to pilot a motorcycle with 7 others in a large circus sphere or compose works of similar quality to Mozart. Why would anyone want to do these things? Why would a circus put 8 motor-bikes in a spherical cage? Why did Mozart create music? Why do we want to do anything beyond ordinary?

Why not? I'm pissed that there's so many people that are only satisfied with "getting the job done". They qualify for the most basic requirements and claim victory. When I claim victory, I don't want my opponents to just sit there and mumble to themselves. For my opponents that only satisfy base pre-requisites, I want them to cry for attempting life's arena with such undeveloped and uncreative ideas. For my other opponents, I want to ally with them such that we may continue our development through respect and friendship.

I accuse the CCC of a lack of innovation and hostile atmosphere. When I first came here, I felt the WPI world around me was anal and petty for having their numerous separate fees, forms, and requirements. The lack of friendliness and coordination unsettled my nerves and caused me to doubt my move to the east. I wondered if everyone here was like that, but over time, I became acutely aware of the "just get the work done" mentality. In the present, I now take care of the computers in WPI's Electrical & Computer Engineering department. Within their building of Atwater Kent, they've managed to create a refuge for those seeking a positive environment for education and self improvement.

I find it interesting now to think how this department and the CCC have had a continual irritation between them. Almost a sort of good versus evil? I don't think I'll go that far, but I do believe they are unfriendly. I'm still sketchy to the origins of this hostility between the ECE department and the CCC. I hear they used to be good friends some time ago, perhaps on the order of a decade. But then a number of disagreements arose that I believe involved network management, billing policies, and the underlying notion of lack of friendliness and ingenuity. Or at least this is the notion I perceive from my ECE friends.

3/16/2000

Okay, I was a little fumed the other day. I think (hope) the other department means well in their actions. Just wish it had a friendlier interface somehow. hmm... grr... hmm... never mind. still fuming.

Today, I got the PC in the first floor lounge area working. Turned out windows would not recognize the touch screen if the real mouse wasn't plugged in. I guess we'll see over the next few weeks how annoying the PC is w/ its outdated multimedia demo. thinking of putting a few graphics demos on there instead...

3/15/2001

Geez! Time flies! Well, I've had an educational year; though I've taken fewer classes than ever before. Learning some life long lessons... Ah well. I wish we could find a good applicant for the new Computer Systems Manager position; we've been looking since September 5. It would be nice to have a second brain to tag-team with while keeping the place happy. Any takers? It is an incredible work environment - wonderful faculty, intelligent students, and always something new to learn.

I've been debating removing my entry on this page from 3/11/2000, but then this page wouldn't be personal, would it? I feel like there's just so much more I should add here but can't. Perhaps after another year I can elaborate more, but for now, I'll abuse this page as my personal mechanism to cope with my self-imposed silence and leave ambiguous messages. Mentally, I think I'm happy/content, but I'm not sure. Just too many things to sort out, but I wonder if most of them I just invented for myself. I'm bad at doing that; inventing problems for myself that don't exist. Or at least, if I try "actively testing" them, the problems don't exist. But if I passively monitor over a period of time, these problems prove their own existence with events and actions before I have time to direct how they'll affect me. To summarize, maybe I'm just trying to figure out "when to let things slide" and when to trust my instincts.

My current test series is "trust my instincts". So far, it has been predictably rocky, but I perceive I'm obtaining my desired effects. One such test-fire resulted in mi novia rooming with one of her best friends for school next year as opposed to rooming with associates in her college. She has a tendency to over-book herself, and I think it'll help her de-stress. Just giving that "forming our reality" idea a try.

Now if I only had some starting capital and more guts...

Oh yeah, we (the IEEE WPI Student Branch officers) were featured in the IEEE's newpaper/newsletter, "The Institute" for our happy work this past academic year. :)